How to write badly, well

Why didn't I start http://writebadlywell.blogspot.com/ myself? the site is awesome.

this one in particular irks me:

Replace concrete nouns with abstract ones

I let my hand rest gently
on your locomotion as you exhaled.
With each breath, I could see your life force
rising
and falling
inside your blouse.
Meanwhile, in my trousers,
my urgency became substance.
I licked my parched half-of-an-uncompleted-kiss;
you slowly blinked your soft blue perceptions.
Finally, we fell into one another’s manipulations of the physical world
and literally made love.

i couldn't read past the second line without rolling my eyes. "i licked my parched half-of-an-uncompleted-kiss;/ you slowly blinked your soft blue perceptions"? guffaw.

thanks to lisa for the link and about an hour of laughs.

(right before publishing this i saw that vick had posted an uncannily similar post. this is how much awesome there is in the writebadlywell website.)