....

what have i done?

why do i feel like i've made the biggest mistake of my life, and that i might not have a chance ever to go back to where i was...

watching him on his bed, his legs outstretched and shoulders slumped, his fingers are laced and his toes are touching again... and i just want to touch him and say i'm sorry and i take it all back.

but i can't. even though my heart breaks to see you cry. don't say i never did love you, because i only knew what love was when i met you.

before him, i'd always lived by reason over passion. which is what i went back to today.

i hope to God it doesn't kill me.

all i can say is, i'm sorry. and that this is hard for me too.
i'm sorry.