The poo report

The white house issues pool reports, I'm going to issue poo reports.

I'm obsessed. I'm not usually regular but this is getting ridiculous. I'm sorry if anyone is having lunch and reading this because I'll have you know right now that I will be chronicling my poo cycles (or lack thereof, rather) so you can press "next item" on your google reader now before I continue.

Still here? Okay. Anyway, my tummy is bloated and hard and super ridonkulously uncomfortable. I haven't gone since saturday and I feel like there's something THERE but it's just not uh, making a grand exit.

Come on poop. You've been on stage long enough. Time to bow out now.

I eat veggies with nearly every meal and have a fruit almost every morning. Nothing.

I also took two tablets last night to uh, help the process along. Says on the box it'll take 10-12 hours before something happens.

It's been 13.5 hours.

Nothing.

And I have been eating like a pig these days! Had a really big pasar malam meal last night including a ramly burger! I don't know how I manage to continue putting stuff in when there's no output! Oh yes! It's called greed! Fml!

Anyways. You know the magic bus formula? The one where if you've been waiting ages for the bus or taxi and you get so frustrated you text someone complaining about it and as soon as you hit send the bus/taxi arrives? Well, I'm hoping this will be the same. I'm sorry to have dumped this on you (see what I did there?) but I'm really hoping there's a magic poop formula that'll kick in as soon as I tell the Internet my woes about being backed up.

It is now 1030am. Come on, magic poop formula. It's all you now.
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