Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Making room

I'm a huge fan of social media, I really am. Except after a breakup.

All these push notifications about whattheyredoingwheretheyarewhattheyreeatingshittingsmokingsnortingetc hurt at first, then start to grate, and finally you're just numb to it. Today, when I scan my friends' updates on various social networks Ex'sName never registers in my mind, and my eyes just sweep past it like nothing ever happened.

Because that's what it feels like, strangely. Like it never happened. 

(Also because seriously, who the hell cares?) 

So I never really gotten around to doing the whole "clean sweep" people around me are quite fond of doing. (Read: Erasing exes off every network possible.) That has worked fine for me so far because like I said, it hardly registers in my mind anymore anyway.

That was the case until a few days ago when my phone was with a significant other. We were looking at pictures stored in the phone and laughing when an update flashed, telling us where Ex was. I think it was the first time I had noticed it in yonks, and it was only because someone else was looking at it.

Someone very important. Who might not have liked knowing that I still get these updates. 

It was fine. The whole thing passed with no trouble at all, and neither of us deemed it important enough to say anything about it.

But it got me thinking: 
1. If I were Significant Other, would I have liked to have a good time marred by an update by Ex? Probably not.
2. If I were Significant Other, would I start to wonder if Ex and I still keep in contact? SigO might not, but I probably would because I am neurotic. And: 
3. Why on God's green earth am I still subscribed to shit I don't even look at?! THAT IS JUST E-CLUTTER AND E-CLUTTER IS E-VIL (I know Vick agrees with me on this one).

This is an extremely long-winded way to say I've started the process of cleaning things up. I've already unsubscribed to the Google Calendar (which wasn't getting updated anyway), and next on my list is foursquare (which I hardly use except to get mayorship of the fishsoup place near work WHY AM I NOT ALREADY MAYOR I EAT THERE ALL THE DAMNED TIME). 

I'm cleaning things up not because there's hate in my heart, or because I'm closing some sort of chapter in my book. I've done that already. 

I'm cleaning things up because I'm making room for something else. Something bigger, more exciting. Something that feels real right now and looks to feel real for awhile yet. Something that deserves all the room it needs because well, it is just deserving like that. 

Here goes! :) 




2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm so proud of you. And you are so mushy, I love it.
Also, amen to the e-clutter note. ;)

angellll said...

i knew you would approve.