please pray for me

because all the freelance work that i've been doing since i quit the company has been corrupted and is now inaccessible and DELETED from my external hard drive.

i've yet to freak out because i haven't allowed myself to. neither have i made any backup plans should the good people at sim lim/funan be unable to retrive my files today.

if this is punishment, God, i get it, and i'm sorry. please give me back my files please.

not just my work, all my old photos, poems, stories, portfolio, resumes and cover letters are in there, but i don't care. please just give me back my work.

in other news, i've thrown caution into the wind the past week, and through that learnt what i needed to know about myself, everyone else, and life in general. i guess as much as you know who you are and what you can do, you just sometimes gotta take that plunge to find out where exactly your boundaries are, and what exactly you already know.

and then i get woken up at 4am this morning by a series of sms-es that were slightly disturbing and out of the blue. all i can say is what are you talking about, and why are you judging me?

i start work at the new company tomorrow. as some people already know i've already had anxiety-driven nightmares about it, but its okay. i do believe i will fail terribly and feel like the stupidest person in the world at least till the issue comes out, but that's okay.

its gonnabe an uphill task but i'll get through it. and i'll come out of it alive.

otherwise, i'm at shenton, and should anyone working around there need an emergency drink, call me. i most likely will need one too.

edit: back from sim lim with my stuff recovered! have a sneaking suspicion i was majorly ripped off, but what the hey - at least most of my work's still there. thank God. and thanks to everyone who tried to help/console me while i was freaking out and dialling anyone who had any clue about computers at all. you all rock.

i have also since given those sms-es a second, third and fourth thought and i'm afraid to say this, but i think he's right on a lot of counts. which scares me in more ways than one.

it is last week of Lent, but perhaps the most powerful. this Lenten season, i repent, and pray for clarity.