Q: Why did they send Curiosity to Mars?

A: Punishment for killing cats on Earth. 

Lame joke of the day brought to you by me reading a tweet on Curiousity and then spotting a cat.

RantyPanty

If there's one thing I miss about lighthouse it's that we were largely kept in the loop about everything going on in the company.

Being in a big company now means people say they don't know what's going to happen but what they mean is that "that information is only privy to those above your pay grade."

This job uncertainty is annoying me. Why call me from new York to find out exactly how much I know about US financial news if we "don't know" if we even have jobs 3 months from now?

All I can think of to regain control of my job situation is to quit and find something else. But surely this is premature, especially when I haven't done what I want to with this job yet, and when they're dangling what I want to do (moving with the company) over my head like a carrot.

Jump higher or jump ship? Or just sit and wait for someone else to finally tell us what's going to happen? I hate not having control over something this important.

Sent from my iPhone

Stuff my dad (probably unknowingly) taught me

1. How you look, how you speak, what you eat or where, they all don't matter. What matters is if you have a good heart. 

2. Buying a car in Singapore is expensive and a waste of money. 

3. Live with a view to expand your horizon. (Or: Don't be a frog in a well.)

4. Daddy's rubber band skillz are second to nobody's, and nobody will kill a lizard for you with one like he will. 

5. Quick tempers need to be reeled in. You'll feel stupid for lashing out after. 

6. Even if you're not one to say "I love you", you can show love with money and a post-it explaining the cash, and your not-very-chinese daughter will understand. 

7. Hard work is everything. 

8. You can likely solve your own problems without needing to enlist help from anyone.

9. Let your children make their own decisions, and their own mistakes. 

10. Money doesn't grow on trees, so if you have debts, pay them. 

11. Pray. 

My dad's great. I've seen him transform from a scary, not-to-be-messed-with patriarch into a (sometimes) warm and sweet person. He's always been faithful to my mother and lived with the sole purpose to make sure we were provided for, and that we turned out okay. We turned out okay. He doesn't have much money to give out, but he's generous in his actions (see: number 4) and y'know what? That's worth more than anything in my books. 

Happy Father's Day Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. I don't know how on earth we manage to understand your strange English or your intentions when you hardly say anything. But I'm glad we do. Please don't stop killing lizards or fixing my aircon/toilet/lightswitch/shoes for me. 

<3

Sudden and random list of awesome Singaporeanisms

I came across the word "mak nenek" and it made me lol, so I decided to compile this list of words and phrases used in Singapore that work here, and make me love this country just a little bit more. Some have meanings next to them, some don't (some are untranslatable). Enjoy!

1. Mak Nenek

2. Kotek - penis

3. Tetek (I'm sensing a pattern) - boobs

4. Sepak - slap

5. Yaya papaya 

6. Leychey - troublesome

7. Chut pattern 

8. Ai sui mai mia - want beauty, don't want life. or, those shoes will hurt but suck it up. 

9. Mai ge kiang!

10. Pang seh - "launch aeroplane", or to stand somebody up

11. Mai ah-neh quan leh! - Don't be like this

12. Mat Rocker

13. ACBC

14. Agaration - estimation

15. Siansation

16. Steady pom pi pi

17. Gostan. - Go astern 

18. 'Thon - "marathon", or stay overnight someplace

19. Lao-ya - lousy

20. Hope - as in, to catch. 

More next time!

Found this while going through my google docs

I think I never posted it because it was too raw and too sad at the time. So here it is, 4 months later. 

When I was young I shared a room with my brother. I fought with him loads. He gave me stitches, I gave him long welts on his back. He slamdunked me WWF-style, I decided his homework would look better with streaks of pink crayon. I was desperate to have a playmate, so he made me a goalpost in his football game. And when we played football inside and broke a coat of arms, I helped glue the swords back and kept the secret from my parents for over 10 years.

And then when I was 14, he left. He went to the US to live the American dream or some rubbish like that. Neither of us realised it at the time, but he left me to fend for myself in the dating world.

So CNY wasn't as great as I thought it might be. I constantly forget that 2 days with family is too long for me. And that as much as I love the de Silvas, they're not immune to asking me when they could be hearing wedding bells, or when they can stop giving me red packets.

I do love that my brother is home tho. It feels right. My mother is obviously delighted and the household is livelier, but I think I like him home because it feels like he's the only one I can talk to. As much as I hate to admit it, we're more similar to each other than we are to the rest of the family, not just in how we look, but also how we speak, how we think and what we enjoy doing. I caught his wife staring at me from across the dinner table once and she said she was just marvelling at how similar we are, especially in our mannerisms. I haven't seen him in 3 years in the now 15 years he's been away.

I hate that whenever he's back it feels like he's never been gone. I hate that when he's back I feel like I wanna spend a lot of time with him but don't because our family isn't affectionate like that. I hate that my brother seems to want to sit down and chat with me too, because that's the only way we can show each other that we care. I hate that I can't get too attached because in a few weeks, he'll be gone again, maybe not to be seen in another three years.

This is one of favourite iphone shots of the trip. It's also the only touristy thing that was done this holiday.

Had a taste of what it would feel like to actually live in the uk instead of just visit it.

I have a more love than hate relationship with the cold (then again it wasn't winter) and a more hate than love relationship with the food (then again I ate mostly at motorway stops). But all in all it's more love than hate, which is bad because I can haz job in Europe plz?

Sigh.

Skiing like a wizard in training

Having a great time so far in France. Managed to get in a few good days of skiing and can sort of go down a decent red run without falling over.

Never expected to love skiing this much. Just got to get a few more practices in to get better. If only these skiing holidays weren't quite so expensive.

Random photo of me falling on my bum on the snow and here I end abruptly because it's time to see a lovely cathedral in Joan of arc city Reims.

Don't want to go home.

Ps/ I love France but these French people could be a little more smiley. Why so glum, frenchies? You have lovely wine and bread.

Ps/ no photo because I don't knw how to attach it from here.

Sent from my iPhone

Random bimbo moment

Why do I always need to pee right after I moisturise my hands? Then I'll wash the moisturiser off when I wash my hands after peeing and need to moisturise again.

My life is so hard. 

Conversations with Boss

Lately our conversations go something like this: 

I send him a link to a charsiew rice place near the office: 

Boss [11:31 AM]:

  that's so close!

  you're evil.

Me [11:31 AM]:

  and their wonton mee or charsiew rice is like $2.50 only

  WHERE TO GET 

Boss [11:31 AM]:

  you suck.

  now i dunno how to get thru today without getting some char siew

Me [11:32 AM]:

  why would anyone ever go without charsiew ever

Boss [11:33 AM]:

  ya i dunno

---

Boss [11:40 AM]:

  i was here yesterday

(sends link to awesome looking zhi char place)

  the salted egg squid was quite yum

Me [11:40 AM]:

  SALTED EGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

  salted egg anything is shiok

Boss [11:40 AM]:

  including just salted egg

Me  [11:44 AM]:

  ya la you've made me hungry now

  i'll get lunch

---

When I'm back from lunch...

Boss [12:14 PM]:

  wat did u get?!

Me [12:15 PM]:

  wonton mee

  across the road..

Boss [12:15 PM]:

  ohhh

  good ah

Me [12:16 PM]:

  not bad! not black enough tho

  hk version

---

Boss sends link of study saying how popcorn is healthy

Me [12:53 PM]:

  PLAIN, yes

  but butter! and caramel!

Boss [12:55 PM]:

  garrett is so rockin.

  but i can only eat for 5 mins

  then it gets too sweet

Me [12:56 PM]:

  i know what you mean, but audrey solved the problem the other day

  caramel mixed with cheese popcorn

  makes it finish-able

Boss [12:56 PM]:

  u are out to kill me

Yoga > cycling > brisk walking > pilates > kickboxing > insanity > > > > > > > > >  running

There's so many ">"s between insanity and running because i really don't mind insanity at all (it's quite good, actually) but dear GOD I really hate to run. 

Why can't I have a job where I have to walk around and be active so I don't have to take time out to go to the gym and run just to stop my arse from expanding to the size of this seat it's always glued on?

Bah. Seeya in a few hours, treadmill.

How to make gifs

Those rice paddies were prettttttty darned awesome.

Actually, all of Bali was pretty awesome. I was apprehensive at the length of time we'd be going (9 days in an Asian beach location? Siao lah.) but I'm so glad we went for that long.

After two glorious days at Gili Trawangan during which I saw not one but TWO turtles while diving, we went to Ubud, drove up to Munduk, and ended the trip with two relaxing days in Jimbaran.

Those last two days were well deserved after the trip we had. One of the two memories that stick out in my mind was the day we started at 2.30am to climb Mount Batur for sunrise and back down again (1.5 hours each way; not too long but the climb was no easy feat!), then went cycling through the padi fields after. We were blistered, bruised and extremely knackered after, but it was well worth it.

The other memory that sticks out in my mind was the drive up to Munduk. We had gone to see the floating temple and a couple of rice paddies en route and had a seafood lunch/dinner at Lovina, but soon realised that if we didn't get a move on, we'd be stuck on the road in the dark trying to find our way to Munduk. This fear grew the longer we were in the jeep, which was pointed nearly straight up on the mountain the whole way. The sun was setting, we were lost (or at least I thought we were lost a lot of the way), we were surrounded by trees, had no street lighting, were miles away from civilisation and were driving on makeshift roads that twisted dramatically up the mountain and melted away into rubble at some points. I remember thinking that if we made one wrong move, we would be tumbling off the side of the cliff, never to be found again.

I kept these thoughts to myself tho, because I could feel Mindy getting more and more kancheong the longer we were in the car. But Mindy's a great driver and after what felt like forever (with everyone we passed along the way saying it was only 5km to go no matter how long it really was), we got to our hotel in Munduk.

Guys, stay at Puri Lumbung. It's peaceful, it's rustic and there's absolutely nothing to do there except enjoy the tiers of rice paddies and the rolling mountain view. Apparently the Munduk village chief owns or co-owns the place so proceeds from your stay in Puri Lumbung go to bettering the lives of the people in Munduk by providing jobs and training. You'll also see donations or stories of famous people who have stayed in the resort inscribed on plaques around the area.

Wow. I haven't written a blog post this long in ages. So I'm going to abruptly end this post here, even tho I have a great story to tell about doing yoga in Ubud. Go back to Bali everybody, and let me know if you need recommendations for the cycling tours or what to see. <3

oh look, it's me.

Source: 9gag.com

Ash Wednesday again

The second I make a promise for Lent, situations come by to tempt me to break it.

Inhale, exhale. It's only been 2 hours into day 1. 40 days to go.

Edit: On the upside, I'm looking forward to making pancakes tonight. :) or just the end of the work day, really.

Back at work

Nothing's changed, clearly.

Holidayayayay

Going to Bali to go diving/driving/yogaing/eating/drinking/monkeyseeing/gardentraipsing/padifieldswalking/volcanotrekking/cycling.
I know right. How to fit in so many things? Because I'll be gone for 9 days, bitches! I think this is the longest I've ever spent away in an Asian country.

Now I'm just hoping the weather holds. I hear thunderstorms are forecast for the next week at least. I'm also hoping these diarrhoea and anti-nausea pills will keep my nasty stomach flu at bay.

Will be so glad to leave the office. After working Christmas, New Year AND Chinese New Year, I could sure use a break.

Last holiday: 3 months ago (!)
Next holiday: 5 hours away!

Seeyall in 9days!

So I thought CNY would be better this year but I guess I was wrong. I keep forgetting that 2 days with family is about 1.5 days too long.

It was nice to have my brother back, however. We haven’t seen each other in 3 years, but he slips right back like he was never gone. My mother is obviously delighted, which is great, and it’s nice to have a decent conversation with someone in the family again.

Not much else by way of updates except I might have an ang moh who thinks it’s cool to be gragok now. In case you’ve forgotten, gragoks don’t have blonde hair and blue eyes. They look like this:

Mum & Uncle Matt <3

14 sleeps to Bali!

Happy Dong Chiang Days, everybody.

Taken while walking along Chinatown one evening, waiting for a friend to show up.

 

I'm trying to rediscover the joys of CNY. It isn't too bad, really, if you're there just to soak up the atmosphere and don't actually need to buy anything. 

Fairy lights on the trees, lanterns lining the street, loud auctions going on in the square and people peddling everything from embroidered clogs to huge, succulent pomelos. Made me smile. 

I have to admit, CNY has been getting less terrible in recent years. I expect this year things will be even better with my brother back from the states. Hopefully the questions will move from asking me "so when are you getting married?" to asking my brother "so when are you two having children?" Muaha.  

Oh, and one of my mates came up with the best answer to the most hated when-are-you-getting-married-so-I-don't-have-to-give-you-angpow-anymore question: "I'm getting married soon. It's going to be the most expensive wedding ever. You better save up."

Brilliant. I think I might use it.

So I guess I haven’t gotten round to kicking the ol’ procrastination habit. I’ve watched this video a hundred times and still die of cute every time I go through my Google Reader feeds and it pops up again.

Zooey and Joseph-Gordon? Sorry, cats of the Internet, you can’t beat them in the cute category. Not this time.

What did I do on New Year’s eve? A group of 8 of us went to have a nice burger dinner at Arab Street then we all headed to Unleashed & Hubby’s pad for a few drinks, some good conversation and of course, a little bit of dance centralling.

We’re not old, we just enjoy each other’s company more than being squashed together with a thousand other sweaty bodies.

Tagging this video here so I can keep returning to it.

o.O

I had an interesting ride into work today. The cabbie was a middle aged man who was clearly hankering after his youth. When I got into the cab, he immediately asked if I was late. When I said I would be in a couple of minutes (otherwise take taxi for what? So expensive), he begun telling me a story of how he can drive so fast that one of his passengers asked if he used to be a racer. "But I'm not, you know! I'm just a very, very good driver!"

Then he whipped out his phone and showed me a picture of a young and long-haired man. It looked like he had snapped it off an old photo, because it had that telltale sepia and patterned border cutout. The man in the photograph had a hand on his chin and a come hither look on his face. It creeped me out a little bit. "Look, this is me, in 1973! You probably not born yet! So handsome, right? All the girls used to like me!" 

I noticed then that his hairstyle hasn't changed, except his hairline is a little further back. I also noticed that the photo was his phone wallpaper.  

"I bet you've never been entertained by your cab driver before!" he said. "Let me entertain you with my singing!" 

Oh dear God.

I braced myself when he turned on the radio, expecting him to sing along to whatever song was playing. 

Instead, what he turns on is a CD recording of him singing. A recording. Of him singing. A pretty good recording - it sounded like he did it in some kind of studio - but it was a recording. Of him singing. And he played it. For me. I thought he might be joking and had just put on a regular CD, and was just about to laugh when he sang along. He sounded exactly like the voice on the CD, complete with mispronunciations. He had a recording. Of himself. Singing. 

"Nice, right? Uncle can sing or not?" 

It was terrible. 

"Last week when I played this for one of my passengers, she asked me to sing at her restaurant in Arab street!"

...no please.

"I told her I will think about it. If I do it, it will be on my own terms. Talent like this ah, cannot anyhow waste, you know?"

Facepalm.

2011: A joint MindyPanty roundup post

Stuff we noticed in 2011.

In no particular order:

Tiny tower
PP: Oh good God did we spend a heck of a long time on this. Quitting it was like quitting smoking. "I will stop at level 32." "Okay, I'll stop at 50." "Okay, this is getting ridiculous. I'll stop at 55." "Oh my God restocking 66 levels takes forever!"

Kate Spade
PP: Only because of...

TPL
PP: I may be a little embarrassed to say I knew her from school. I never spoke to her tho. She was really shy and quiet and we were in different classes.

M: Best blog post about TPL comes from Rockson: "Fucking chio man!  don't know why she holding this paper bag from a brand call Kate Spade. Maybe she like gardening! I want to show her my spade also! My spade is call Horse!!! Hahahahahahahaha!"


The hashtag: #firstworldproblems
PP: And the emergence of hashtags in every social media platform ever. #needstostop

The Occupy movement
PP: Which went everywhere and failed here.
M: And which, like the 'gate' suffix, spread to wildly unrelated things. Not happy with your sandwich? #OccupySubway

App Talk
M: Apps are everywhere and app "show & tells" became a bona fide topic of conversation, at bars (nothing like whipping out the iPad over beers) and at work (it gets slow, okay!). I swapped apps with my Mum. My MUM. Anyone know any good games involving trains? Ha, I kid, got them all already.

MRT breakdowns
PP: This one got the whole nation up in arms and got me back on Temple Run. What? I got a high score waiting for the MRT to get moving again.

Internet best:
PP: Nyan cat (earworm alert), OHMYGOD IT'S A DOUBLE RAINBOW, rigid sloth, flippity floppity giant fish across the neck gif, military woman singing Adele, stupid memes, rageface, watching Justin Bieber die on youtube... I clearly spend too much time on the Internet so I'm just going to stop here.

The word "epic"
PP: Everything is epic. Even if it really isn't. Did epic become a thing before this year? I'm not sure. But the word "epic" and how it's now used is pretty epic. The Internet FTW.


Fail & Win
M: Everything also suddenly became categorisable as a fail or a win. As if the rich, technicolour tapestry of life suddenly became a mono-chrome narrow plank, with instant social humiliation on one side and fist pumping mates buying you beers on the other. It is not, somethings are just...

Meh.
M: Okay, i am only just starting to understand this word. It is the dividing line between Fail and Win. It is the plank.

Stripes, spikes and skulls
PP: On clothes, shoes and everything, respectively.

The end of Harry Potter
PP: I wish JK Rowling didn't avada kedava this project. Too lame? Fine.

The end of Google Reader
PP: ...sob. I can't even... this is... this was the end of my life on the Internet. Google Plus just isn't doing it. I'm now lonely on the Internet. How can that be? It's THE INTERNET! Sniff.

Awkward Facebook Friend Just Read 'Ten Tips For Longer Loving' In Cosmo Reader
M: The death of the beloved Google Reader also seems to have spawned a much more sinister trend. 'Readers' on Facebook. These things tell everyone what you have read, whether you choose to or not. I'm sure there is a way of 'hiding' it, but it's complex and annoying. So just stop it. If I decide to read a well-written and researched piece in The Guardian that happens to be about a Japanese midget porn actress, or whatever, I don't want it on my wall, or anyone else's. It's the Guardian, it's legit, but stop this creepy, involuntary sharing.

Borders closing down
PP: I'm on some sort of emo spiral now. Borders Wheelock Place was a place filled with memories. Many a night I spent on those gnarly, dirt-trapped carpet in the kids section just reading while waiting for friends to show up or waiting to go clubbing (the place closed at 11pm.)

Decorating with grey
PP: Relatively 2011 on the interior decorating scene, decorating with grey is just lovely. It's apparently also "associated with intelligence, discipline, stability, sophistication and quiet authority" and can "be the difference between either creating a brilliant decor color scheme or a dull, moody one." Like these here, just gorgeous.

The Green Corridor.
M: Singapore said goodbye to trains, lovely, lovely trains, and chose to severe itself from a railway line that could take you from Tanjong Pagar to Bangkok and beyond. What was left after the tracks were hauled back to Malaysia was a quiet oasis of largely untouched forest that travels the spine of the island. What Singapore decides to do with this is anyone's guess, and it could define the government's attitude to the quality of life of citizens in 2012.

Rebecca Black
PP: 'Nuff said. Random thought: So many people (real and fictional) with last name Black. Rebecca Black, Jack Black, Jacob Black, Sirius Black, Conrad Black, Cilla Black.

Death of many a dictator/evil villain:
PP: Gadhafi, Osama, Kim Jong Il.
M: Just waiting for Maggie now.

The Royal Wedding
PP: I know a lot of girls my age who had their eye on William forever, just so they can be princesses. No, "don't worry, there's still Harry" doesn't cut it, because as Mindy would say: Harry's ginger.

Hipsters
M: 2011 was the year they became mainstream. Well, I went mainstream, like, ages ago, probably before you'd heard of it. But yeah, the beautiful dichotomy of these guys is now an industry, where anything vintage and/or alternative  = 'authentic' and thus, good. In 2011 youth culture sat down with a vintage book in an 'arts space' and drank some fair trade coffee, or maybe a beer, as long as it was made in a shed in a Ukrainian's back garden.