which is worse: having a temper that is frequent and explosive but goes away as fast as it comes, or one that boils quietly for a long time but when it erupts the lava doesn't stop spilling till a while later?

i used to think that my being able to control my anger was a good thing. until i exploded and realised that i was hurting nobody else but myself. i quite surprised myself when i exploded and was still able to control it, the other person slipping away almost unscathed, not experiencing the full wrath.

for the record, it does take a whole lot to get me angry tho.

sigh. and then after delivering my more-upset-than-average speech (which i didn't even know if the other person picked up on), "slammed down" the cordless phone as best as i could, all that was left were two hands which couldn't stop shaking, light-headedness and some major heart palpitations.

yeah, the extent of my anger surprises me too.

ah well, at least typing out this entry (albeit a lot slower -- shaking hands and keyboards don't go) has calmed me down a bit. being the quiet-angry sort is so not worth it. i might get a heart attack and everyone else would be like: why? the last i spoke to her she was perfectly fine.

now i understand why dennis always says i let people walk all over me. "i'm sure its okay, angel never ever gets angry"

cannot make it lah.

one day when i finally do explode in someone's face, i'll blog about it. it'll be a major milestone in my life, i think. bledy hell. i'm tired of bottling up how pissed off i am and making sure i still come off nice to the other person. the other person goes "oh ok" with a shrug and i get about 4 more white hairs.

sigh. people should just stop getting angry. its a useless emotion. *exhale*