I just witnessed the perfect theft.

Yesterday Len and i were at PS eating at Yoshinoya, and there was a handphone on the floor a little way away from us, in an inconspicuous corner. A 3310 faced down, not visible to those walking past it, but visible as day to the rest of the people eating near the entrances of Yoshinoya and Long John Silvers. Anyway, so Len and I were eating, waiting to see who would be the stealthy dishonest Singaporean who would pick it up. You know Singaporeans, even though the 3310 is outdated as hell people would still sell it to those second hand shops to get a little bit of change. There was even a group of boys at LJS who had their eye on the phone, looking as if they had a poll as to who would notice and finally take it. I bet they’d agreed that should nobody take it when they had finished their meal, they’d nick it for themselves. [actually one of them almost did but I guess he chickened out in the end and walked back to sit with the rest of them].

After bout 10ish mins, a kindly looking couple spotted it and picked it up. I was SHOCKED but wasn’t let down as they asked the lady nearby [who was on the phone, stupid idiots] if the phone belonged to her. I mean, she was ON a phone, a MUCH better model at that, WHY in the world would she own an extra 3310? Anyway, after they realized it wasn’t hers [and their own stupidity] they nicely placed the phone on a platform, in plain view of everyone now, and walked away. Such model Singaporeans who had enough morals not to nick it for themselves, but didn’t have enough brains to return it to information or a lost and found counter.

ANYWAY, shortly after that an elderly-ish balding fella with a tummy pushing a blue pram with a little kid round 3 years old [yes I’m describing him just in case he seemed familiar] pushed the pram a little away from the phone, realized that there was a phone there and reversed, plonking himself strategically on the platform, just beside the phone. I bet he was trying very hard to seem like he was just tired and wanted to sit a while to rest, but no buster, a whole tableful of guys plus Len and myself were just watching him as he picked the phone up and not even bothering to glance at it, passed it to his kid.

He passed it to his kid!!! Smart fella passed it to his kid who obviously didn’t know he was being used as the perfect collaborator. Len said that because he took it and didn’t even bother to even glance at it before passing it to his kid meant that he was conscious and probably planned it. Smart ass!!! Horrible, terrible, and totally despicable, but.. smart ass!!

Of course, it was a little embarrassing when the kid tried returning the phone to his father and the father had to covertly wave his hand to tell him to keep it in front of his audience.

Basket.