If you're just an acquaintance, don't talk to me while I'm on the toilet

I don't know if I'm the only idiot who thinks this way, but if you're not someone I'm really close to, I'm not comfortable talking to you while I'm on the bog. 

Allow me to explain:

There's a girl from the other side of the office I always see in the toilet. Like 8-out-of-10-times-a-day kind of always. And she's always primping. Not just powdering her nose kind of primping, but full-blown mascara reapplying and hairspraying kind of primping. I can't even begin to identify what creams and lotions she has spread out over the sink or what they do.

Anyway, I don't remember what her name is, and the only reason I talk to her is at all (apart from seeing her in the ladies all the time), is because she met a mutual friend at a party once, told mutual friend she works here, and said mutual friend mentioned me. 

I'm sure she's a sweet girl, but she really needs to stop talking to me every single time I'm in the loo. 

Every day it's "OHAI ANGEL HOW ARE YOU DOING HOW IS YOUR LOVE LIFE I LIKE YOUR SHIRT/PANTS/SHOES/HAIR/WHATEVERLOOKSNICETHATDAY I'M GONNA ASK YOU A MILLION QUESTIONS NOW KAY!"

...i'mnotkidding. 

She's from sales, and you know how salespeople are really good at schmoozing and networking and never run out of things to say? She never runs out of things to say, even if I saw her just the hour before. 

I mean, what am I supposed to do in a situation like that? My mother told me it was rude to walk away from someone who is talking to you, so I feel like I should stay and entertain her, but I kind of have a job to go back to and OMG MY PEE IS COMING OUT ALREADY HURRYUP. 

Just go pee and listen to her, you say?

Are you out of your mind? I mean, she's talking to me, so she is tuned in to what I'm doing which means if I pee with sound SHE WILL HEAR IT. What if I've had a lot of water and waited to the last minute to pee (I always do) and end up peeing like a racehorse? How embarrassing would that be?! And even if I manage to pee quietly she's actually asking me questions and waiting for me to respond and... talking about my personal life while my pants are around my ankles and I'm concentrating on peeing quietly and I need to concentrate on hearing if anyone else has come in and will listen to this idiot girl stammering while peeing and omg my brain and bladder are about to explode. 

Worse: What if I needed to poo? 

Oh my God.

Right now, I stand around awkwardly (she talks and puts on makeup at the same time but I don't so I don't know what to do with my hands) and entertain her for a while before giving an awkward chuckle hoping that signals the end of a conversation, run into the loo when she just starts a sentence and try to finish peeing by the time her sentence ends and before I have to actually answer.

It's not ideal, and I have to very carefully gauge when it'll be a long sentence before making a mad dash into the cubicle, but it's the only thing that works for now. 

:(

Ps/ If any of you wisebottoms reading this are plotting to troll me by chatting while we're in the loo, I'M ON TO YOU AND WE'RE FRIENDS SO I'LL JUST PEE ANYWAY.